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He moved a bit andI moved closer to his manhood, then...Then I felt as if I became a woman. With every action I became moreentranced with the power I had over him, the sense that I was a desirablewoman, and gave in to our mutual and total commitment. He and I used eachother in every way possible before finally collapsing in a sweaty pile onthe bed. I had crossed the line between being a boy in a dress to anutterly feminine woman, one that had a man that loved her. Everysensation, every action and every touch heightened my senses and drove medeeper into my accepting that what I had done for him was perfectlynormal for a woman, and I am woman.By the time I got home it was late; my parents were waiting up for me, alook of concern on their faces. I tried to be nonchalant was I walked in,but mom, being a woman, must have seen the look of a well satisfied womanon my face."It's late," dad said."It's okay," mom told me, "go up and get ready for bed. I'll be up in aminute."By the time I had. First, I found a way that we were able to connect, at least that once, as lovers. For a moment at least I felt accepted. That will mean a lot working against the shadows.“Second, I don’t think you’ve ever reconciled what you learned at Shepherd’s Crook to your life at Oak Leaf. How do you feel thinking about Ashley from Shepherd’s Crook now?”I paused to consider. “I feel a lot more peace thinking about her—me. She’s less distinct, more me; I’m more her. I can see how her vulnerability is similar to Lady Ashley’s vulnerability.”“You were both while we joined, weren’t you?”“Yes.”“Have you ever done that before?”“No, not really. Shepherd Girl is about vulnerability and being taken. The Woman Riding Atop is not much about taking, although she is a complex symbol. A lady is about strength and confidence. Shepherd Girl seemed so different before.”“But now?”“It all melds together. I suppose being vulnerable to the flock is part of how Shepherd Girl guides.”“Also, it wasn’t just Shepherd.
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